One of my favourite things about fish is that fish is singular while fish is also plural. There’s a lot to like about fish. According to science, there are about 230,000 species on earth right now. That’s a lot of fish. So I’m taking on a pretty big task trying to narrow down the best of the month. May is typically a good month for fish. This was no exception.
Steve the Manta Ray – Smartest Fish of the Month
According to a study done just over a month ago, a local Tampa Bay Giant Ray named Steve was caught checking himself out in a mirror placed in his habitat by two marine biologist pranksters. In an eerie act of next-level evolutionary behaviour, Steve blew bubbles into his own reflection, circling the mirror while making unusual movements. Science indicates that this is proof of self-recognition in the species, an ability that many humans don’t even possess. Giant rays have the largest brains in the fish world, so this development is not a surprise to an anonymous fish expert that specializes in fish psychology. According to him, fish like Steve are incredibly complex and have been quoted using the term ’emotionally unavailable’ after break-ups. Steve has made a verbal commitment to attend Ryerson university in the fall.
Brendan the iFish – Most Entrepreneurial Fish of the Month
One of the greatest modern experiments we’ve been lucky enough to witness within our lifetimes is Capitalism. Contrary to popular belief, free market economics is not exclusive to mammals. In a classic video posted by YouTube tricksters, “How Ridiculous”, we see just how effective developments in the booming field of technologies can stimulate economic demand. In this case-study, Brendan puts his life in the hands of an Australian fisherman, while waiting in line for the iPhone 6s. Much to his dismay, it was only an iPhone 6. After feeling a bit swindled, he negotiated his return to the ocean.
Margie the Catfish – Cutest Fish of the Month
I can’t tan. Like many pale people, I burn under direct exposure to the sun. Luckily for people like me, Margie is bringing the “pale look” back this summer. She accompanied her boyfriend/personal assistant, Winston (pictured above) to accept the Master Angler award in Red River, Manitoba yesterday. He described her as “1 in a million” while also measuring in at 86.36 cm. Unfortunately, there was a bit of trouble in paradise as Margie and Winston shared an uncomfortably awkward silence during the award ceremony. After accepting his prize, Winston threw Margie back into the water and the two haven’t spoken since. Margie is no small catch as an award winner herself – because she’s our pick as cutest fish of the month.
This has been another edition of Fish of the Month.
If you have some spare time, check out this neat video.