Bad Wrap

Toronto, ON, Canada / SayRadio

I feel like I am on a crap shoot each time I enter a washroom stall on campus. Maybe it is clean. Maybe the door locks. Maybe there is toilet paper. I know I should have checked before I sat down, butt, Nature was calling…loud.

Is there a school workshop on how to get toilet paper off the giant plastic wheel? Pulling off a thin piece of off-white paper, one at a time from the “lucky tire”, as I like to call it, then stacking it all together and hope for the best.

How many people know how to change the roll of toilet paper at home?

The makers used to put the total length of each roll on the package. (In case you had to make a paper ladder to escape from Rapunzel’s tower)

Does anybody ever count the sheets then do the math? 2 ply. 3 ply. How about enough to wipe ply?

12 double rolls equal 24 single rolls.What? The dealer doesn’t say “Here are 2 tires. There is enough rubber on there for 4 tires so…we’rre charging you for 4 tires.”

Is there some on the roll? Great! Let’s use it.

I see the commercials on TV with the little white kittens, and I thought I would use a kitten. Otherwise, what do kittens have to do with sitting on the toilet?

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