Walk around the halls of Seneca this week and you will see sunken eyes, messy hair, and lots of people yawning. Exam season is upon us and it is destroying everyone on campus. I’m not an expert in the field of anything medical related so bare with me as I give you my top 5 tips to motivate yourself and survive exam stress.
1. Watch Jersey Shore
Watching an episode of this once famed reality television show will help you realize just how smart you are. When you put your IQ up against the likes of Snooki, Mike The Situation, and Ronnie you’ll be glad you decided to go to college and gain an education. You’ll be motivated to learn more about Shakespeare and less about G.T.L. bro.
2. Stalk Yourself On Facebook
There is nothing more satisfying than going deep into other people’s facebook pictures. A good social media stalker knows the best pictures are the oldest. Flip the script and stalk yourself this time. You’ll see how far you’ve come over the years and it will put your mind at ease knowing that you grew up from wearing Hollister t-shirts and silly-bandz to at least attempting to look professional at school.
3. Cry Into A Container Of Chinese Food
Nothing says college like cheap Chinese food and tears. The smell of MSG is enough to calm even a wild elephant down. You can refuel your body all while releasing your emotional distress. You can also use the empty box to write notes on if you run out of paper. That’s what I call being resourceful.
4. Warm Laundry
Shove your clothes into the dryer for a few minutes and quickly put them on. The warmth will settle your mind and remind you of all the times you’ve been held in the warmth of your mother’s arms. For increased results, shove your face in a pile of towels and take a quick power nap.
5. Start A Fire
If you’re still reading this, it must mean that nothing is working for you. At this point you’re ready to say “screw it” and walk away. The more interesting way to give up is to take all your notes and assignments to the fire place and watch those vile things burn! If you’re thirst for fire hasn’t been quenched then you might want to throw in some pictures of your ex who made your semester even worse.
In all seriousness just take it slow, drink lots of water and get some sleep (I’m just saying this because I don’t want to be responsible for any dryer- related deaths). Exams are there to give students a chance to show what they’ve learned so if you fail just tell yourself it’s a direct reflection on the teacher’s ability to teach (don’t tell them I said that). Like I said, I’m not an expert. So I wish you the best of luck on your exams, but in all honestly, as October’s Very Own and Toronto’s Finest once said… “If you’re reading this it’s too late”.
Check out real expert tips below: